Evolution of Man & Woman

I saw this awesome post at Damn LOL and I just had to share it.

I don't quite understand the female evolution, but the male one makes so much sense (and perhaps pictures the things to come).

A whole new meaning to "I haz cheezburger".

Image from this Damn LOL article, retrieved on February 7, 2012.

iPhone 5 - How It's Done

I think this infographic explains quite well how we consumers fall for the 'latest' in technology.

Infographic from The Techlabs, retrieved on February 6, 2012.

We Aren't So Football Crazy

With the recent AFF Suzuki Cup competition highlighting our very own national football team, the Azkals, football has certainly grabbed the attention of many Filipinos. We are a very athletic people, but football - the "Beautiful Game" and the most widely played sport in the world - seems to escape our grasp. Perhaps it was because we misunderstood it so much. Complaints on "how long the game takes" or "the low scores the games have" were just some of the supposed reasons many Filipinos I've talked with give when asked why not football for us.

And perhaps, we cannot be taken seriously by the rest of the world when there are numerous Filipinos (oh, you've seen this I'm sure) use football boots (not even futsal boots!) to walk around malls and parks, and, really strangely, as driving shoes.

*nods* Those are cleats alright.. *sigh*


Jay~

Useless College Degrees

As a recent graduate of International Relations, I often find myself questioning the value of my degree. In the words of one of our faculty, "You understand why conflicts happen. You know all the ways on how to prevent them theoretically. Then one day, a madman just f*cks everything up." HOW TRUE. At least, my degree taught me valuable research, writing, and critical thinking skills that apply to my current work.

So when I came across this Top Tenz site, I couldn't help but agree. Click the link for more details, but in a nutshell, these are the degrees (from tenth to first):

David Beckham Studies (the study of, OMFG, David Beckham)
(offered by Staffordshire University, UK)

Parapsychology (studying ghosts and the paranormal)
(offered by Coventry, Liverpool, Northampton, and Edinburgh Universities, respectively, among others)

PhD in Ufology (studying UFOs, post-grad)
(offered by Melbourne University)

The Phallus (studying the phallus and various phallic objects)
(offered by Occidental College)

Surfing Studies ("studying" surfing)
(offered by Plymouth University, UK and Southern Cross University, Australia)

Philosophy (philosophizing?)
(offered by various institutions around the world)

Queer Musicology (studying gayness and music science)
(offered by UCLA, USA)

Star Trek (studying.. Star Trek :|)
(offered by Georgetown University, USA)

Golf Management (LOL!)
(offered by University of Birmingham, UK and Florida Gulf Coast University, USA)

Art History (studying art history, duh)
(offered by various institutions around the world)

Some are downright dumb, some may be valuable. Make up your own mind! :)
Read and obtained from toptenz.net

Jay~

Shake That Thang

Enough said.

It's like watching a BigMac bootyshake.

Jay~

Friendster Civilization

This is hilarious. :D


Jay~

WoW Freakout

This kid loves World of Warcraft a little too much..

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Watch what he does with the remote, and the "magic trick" of his clothes.

Jay~

Man Rules

Received this email from mum earlier this morning, and I thought it was absolutely hilarious. :) Do enjoy!

**

The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat..
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

**

ROFL. Hope you guys liked them.

Jay~

Men's Dressing Guide

This is why we males are rarely late.

Jay~

Why Men Are Happier

Received this funny email from mum the other day. LOL. Don't take it too seriously, all you feminists. :P

-----

Men Are Just Happier People. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color.. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

-----

LOL. My favorites are in bold.

Jay~

Indian Superman

The special effects in this film can rival Jurassic Park's or Star Wars'.
Okay, I'm kidding.

This one really made me ROFLMAO. Enjoy!

Farting Viking Lesbians

No, I did not meet a Viking lesbian who has a bad case of flatulence.
This is about as random as we get. :P

Conversation Guide:
Aldz; Jay

"Bro, did you hear this song called 'I love lesbians'?"
"Nope. Who sang it?""
"I forgot. It's such a dumb song."
"Yeah? Lesbians are hot, man."
"I know man."
"Did you know that broccoli and cabbages makes for the smelliest farts?"
"Really? I thought it was meat."
"Nope. It's the vegetables, man."
"Broccoli? *laughs* They're like little trees. I don't know why kids hate them."
"They're nice actually. "
"Russia was founded by Vikings."
"Huh?"
"Yeah bro. The first Russians were Vikings."
"How the hell did we start talking about Vikings??"

*ROFL in the car*

This conversation happened in the 2 minutes it takes to cross a block.
OMG.

Jay~

UC Alumnus?

While riding a trike (a motorcycle-cab mode of public transport), I couldn't help but notice that the trike operator happened to be a very educated person.




I will never look at University of Colorado alumni the same way again. LOL.

Disclaimer:
This post is not meant to rag on UC graduates. It's for entertainment only.

Jay~

Gender Impressions

How To Impress a Woman
Compliment her.
Cuddle her.
Kiss her.
Caress her.
Love her.
Stroke her.
Tease her.
Comfort her.
Protect her.
Hug her.
Hold her.
Spend money on her.
Wine & dine her.
Buy things for her.
Listen to her.
Care for her.
Stand by her.
Support her.
Go to the ends of the earth for her.

How to Impress a Man
Show up naked.
Bring beer.

ROFL.

Jay~

Daily Bread

The new prayer during meals.

"Rub-a-dub-dub,
Thanks for the grub.
Yeah, Gawd!"

If you didn't LOL, you suck.

Jay~

Genius of Bush

Hey readers!

Let me start off June with a post on memorable George W. Bush quotes. In case you didn't know, George Bush is the current president of the United States of America.

Yes, I know.
I couldn't swallow it either.
LOL.

I couldn't trace the dates for some of them, so I apologize in advance.

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
- August 11, 1994.

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
- September 15, 1995.

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy -- but that could change."
- May 22, 1998.

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
- November 30, 1996.

"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world."
- September 21, 1997.

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
- To Sam Donaldson, August 17, 1993.

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"Public speaking is very easy."
- To reporters.

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it."
- May 20, 1996.

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
- September 22, 1997.

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
- September 5, 1993.

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
- September 18, 1995.

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that George Bush may or may not make."

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."

The last one killed it.
You simply must love this guy.
ROFLMAO.

Jay~

LOL Loek

I just thought this was hilarious.
Chatting with my Dutch friend Loek van **** on MSN.

Jason:
I hate West Malaysia.

Loek:
Why? Gang related?

Jason:
LOL no man. Racism.
I grew up in East Malaysia.

Loek:
I dunno. I don't hate any part of Holland.

Jason:
That's because you're all white.

Loek:
No. We got a lot of people from Antillen here.

Jason:
Antillen?

Loek:
Yeah, ehm, Aruba..

Jason:
What the f..

Loek:
Yeah. An island.
Or old colony.
Or something.

Loek:
Look at Google.

ROFL.
From gangs to islands to Google.
How conversations go nowadays.

**EDIT**
We continued the conversation while he read my blog.

Loek:
Can you update my family name?

Jason:
Why?

Loek:
It's f*cked up if my family name is online.

Jason:
Why?

Loek:
Because of my school.

Jason:
Dude, no one from your school reads my blog.

Loek:
Actually I'm not sure about that.
It's from the government so..

Jason:
Like alien projects?

Loek:
No..
But just make something out of it.
Like Jasnen.

Loek:
Or Jansen.

Loek:
Or something.

Now, that, ladies and gentlemen, is worthy of ROFL.

Jay~

Miss Philippines 2008

She won the Best in Long Gown.
She won the Best in Swimsuit.
She's beautiful and sexy.

And then.. She opens her mouth.
(Keep in mind that she won and will represent the Philippines in the Miss World 2008).





Now, don't wonder why the world makes fun of Philippines and Filipinos when the best we can send is rubbish like this.

*sigh*

Jay~

Oh Cork

My friend in fourth year high school here (name undisclosed to protect privacy) is entering a science project competition and guess what's the topic given to her?

CORK

Like, no shit Sherlock. Here's her opening paragraph on cork.

"The tree evolved to protect itself from the harsh conditions of the forests near the Mediterranean. These forests experience frequent droughts, brush fires and temperature fluctuations. Cork is actually made of water-resistant cells that separate the outer bark from the delicate interior bark. It has a unique set of properties not found in any other naturally existing material. It is lightweight, rot resistant, fire resistant, termite resistant, impermeable to gas and liquid, soft and buoyant. It's these properties that make it ideal for stopping wine bottles and tile flooring. Let's take a look at how cork gets stripped from the tree and processed into consumer products."

Now add another 22 pages to that.

There's only so much one can really write about wonderful cork.

God bless her (poor) soul.
Good luck though. =)

ROTFLMAO.

Jay~