Thursday, 31 May 2007

A Lala + An Essay

Lalas already annoy me as it is. It does not help when I have to see them twice a week, every week, every month. How is this possible? My student!! *aarrggh*

There's an essay I taught which dealt with learning proverbs. They each had to choose one. This particular one, The Lala, chose "Every Garden Has Its Weeds". The conversation went something along these lines:

Me: So this proverb simply means that nothing is perfect. No matter how beautiful a garden is, there will always be weeds growing on it somewhere. It's not perfect.
Her: But you said it's a garden wor. How can it mean nothing is perfect.
Me: It's a metaphor. If I say I swim like a fish, you wouldn't think I'm a fish right?
Her: Yeah hor. So how come you use garden?
Me: It's a metaphor. *groans* The "garden" could be any object, person, or animal. The "weeds" are the faults of this object, person, or animal.
Her: But you said garden. People are not garden.

You can just imagine how I was feeling. *grr* To make it worse, the whole time she was doing that puffy cheek thing that Lalas in general love to do. *double grr*

So we got onto the writing. She passes up her work and it was about her computer. Alright fine, nothing is perfect about her computer. Then I read more and got really ticked off. I like a neat format of 3 points of what you like, and 3 things of what you don't like (garden and weeds). What does she like to do with her computer?


*triple grr* I'm going to blow a vein now. Lalas are not only shallow, their imagination is about as creative as a sheet of glass. Thin, brittle, and in all likelihood about to break. The things she hates about her computer?


They're all the same!! All the freaking same!! *quadruple grr*
But then, patience is a virtue. I did not blow my top, even though I came very close to hitting the coronary. At least I hope she's learning something, those most of the time she's paying more attention to her nails than nouns. *sigh*

Lalas. Shoot 'em all.


Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Football Madness The Sequel

Here's a sequel from Nikki's question. *grins* Enjoy.

90 minutes of game time. 45 minutes each half.
15 minutes of break at half-time. (More to 20 minutes if you watch on TV).

Also known as stoppage time. This is given to allow for stuff that happened while the game was on. Examples are player injuries, bookings (explained in previous post), unfortunate delays (weather, a fan gone crazy and raised hell), or substitutions. How much time is given depends on a lot of variables, some not quite understood. Injury-time can vary from 1 minute up to 6 minutes (the most I've ever seen). Extra-time is given at the end of each halves and is extremely up to the referee's mood and he can call it off sooner, or let it play on longer. Note the referee wearing 2 watches next time you watch a footie match.

ET is only given during championship or elimination matches. They are not given in league matches (those that run the course of the season where points are counted, not who wins or lose). ET is needed to provide a winning team especially when the score is tied (0-0 or 2-2 and no one has away goals advantage. Away goals to be explained later). There used to be the Golden Goal rule where the first team to score a goal in ET is awarded the win, but it's gone now. Now, you get 15 minutes of ET per half. If no one still scores, we go to the penalties.

Penalty Shootout.
The most nail-biting, heart-stopping part of a competitive match. Also pretty unfair but rules are rules. Each team sends out shooters to go against each other's goalies. Usually, 5 shots are given per team, where you need to get 1 more than the other team to win. However, if both teams keep scoring, there's little choice but to let them shoot it out until a shooter (or a keeper) makes a mistake.
Famous shootouts include the AC Milan - Juventus Champions League Final, and the legendary Istanbul incident where Liverpool beat out AC Milan in the penalties after fighting back from 0-3 to 3-3.

Away Goals.
During a championship knockout stage, where a team must win to progress, the away goals rule is applied. No points are necessary, so goal difference (GD) or aggregate (AGG) score is required. Let's say Roma is playing at home. They score 2 goals and win the match, but Manchester United score 1 goal. An away goal. If at Manchester's home ground they win 1-0 (bringing the AGG score to 2-2), Manchester United would progress as they have an away goal, whereas Roma only has home goals. The concept is that its harder to score at your opponent's home ground, as you are unfamiliar with it. Of course, Manchester United banged in 7 goals to 1 in the 2nd leg of this knockout to progress with an AGG score of 8-3. True story by the way.

Each team is allowed 3 substitution per match.
Aussie substitution.

A football squad must consist of a minimum of 16 players. 11 starters and 5 subs. A squad (like the Blue Baboons aka Chelsea) of course have no limits as to how many players they have, as long as they can afford to pay all of them.
Play is stopped and automatically conceded to the opponents once a team reaches less than 7 players available on the pitch.
A possible scenario goes like this. You start with 11 players. 3 get injured, and you must sub them. 2 players are red-carded (sent-off, read post below) and sent to the locker room. 2 more players are injured and unable to continue. Then, the goalkeeper has his skull broken a la Petr Catch (Chelsea goalie). However much time is left, you can't continue.

Easy to understand. A team gets 3 points for a win (W), 1 point for a draw (D) and 0 points for a loss (L). Strategically speaking, 2 wins are better than 5 draws. That's why United are champions. The Blue Baboons drew too many games.

GF - Goals for. Goals scored by your team.
GA - Goals against. Goals scored against your team.
GD - Goal difference. Mathematical formula of GF-GA=GD.


Saturday, 26 May 2007

Football Madness

This post was inspired while talking (more to listening while she rants) with Nikki. She was trying to explain the unfathomable world of F1 racing. I thought it's basically whoever is fastest and stuff. Boy, was I a noob. *blush* I then gave her simple football questions, and she couldn't answer a single one. Even Stevens, but I thought the average girl should know more about the world's most wonderful game. Joga Bonito!

The Offside Rule.
The benchmark of being considered a true football fan. It's probably the hardest rule in football to understand but I'll try and explain it.
The offside rule is implemented to prevent an attacking player from camping near the defending team's goal. It prevents an attacker from gaining unfair advantage over the defending team. The offside rule says that an attacking player cannot be nearer to the defending team's goal than the ball and the second last defending player (the last being the goal keeper or an outfield player because some keepers are stupid enough to go way out of their penalty box).

Here we can see a Chelski idiot (blue) in an offside position trying to gain unfair advantage over Manchester United (red).

Note that being in an offside position is not an offense.
It only becomes an offense when the attacker is in the offside position while ball is in play. That means the ball is touched/kicked by a team-mate while he is in the offside position. It's this that proves controversial, as the referee or his assistants (called "linesmen") call (or not call) offside when the player is (or not) in an offside position while ball is in play. Of course, you can be Chelsea and pay referees.

There are 4 basic positions for a football player. Goalkeeper, Defender, Midfielder, and Forward. The latter 3 are also called outfield players.
For simplicity's sake, let's take Manchester United's typical formation, the 4-4-2.

Left and right backs (LB & RB) who go far out forward during attacks are also called leftwing / rightwing backs (LWB & RWB). Notable RWB player is Gary Neville.
The 2 centre backs (CB) can be further divided into south wing (SW) and/or a sweeper. Sweepers are generally extinct now, with the exception of CB Rio Ferdinand.
Left and right midfield (LM & RM) players who maraud the sides of the pitch (wings) are called left / right wingers (LW & RW). Notable LW is Ryan Giggs and RW is Cristiano Ronaldo. Notable RM is David Beckham.
In the central midfield (CM) position, a midfielder can either be an attacking mid (AM) or a defensive mid (DM). Notable AM is Steven Gerrard (Liverpool). He's also a a very good CM.
For forwards, they are usually called Strikers (ST) and, depending on their position, a left forward (LF), right forward (RF), and a centre forward (CF). They are the tooth and claw of the team and they are usually expected to be the goal scorers. Notable strikers are Thierry Henry (Arsenal) and Samuel Et'oo (Barcelona).
Goalkeepers (GK) are goalkeepers. Thay are allowed to use their hands to touch the ball only within their penalty boxes. Notable keepers are Peter Schmeichel, Gianluigi Buffon, Oliver Kahn, Santiago Canizares, and Victor Valdez.

Penalty Kick
When a player is fouled (or is thought to have been fouled) within the penalty box, a penalty kick is awarded. The goalkeeper and defending team's players almost always rush to the referee, causing one or more of them to be booked for their futile complaints.

A beautiful save. Not many keepers can keep out a penalty kick. It takes a lot of psychological strength for the taker to score too, so it's a 50/50 chance.
Notable penalty kick taker is Ruud van Nistelrooy.

Free Kick
During play, when an attacking player is fouled anywhere else on the field except the defender's penalty box, a free kick is usually awarded. If it's near enough to the goal, the goalie usually arranges a wall to try to block the kick. It works, sometimes.

David Beckham, arguably one of the greatest free kick takers of all time.

Goal Kick
The ball goes out of play behind the goal line. Simple.

Youth player takes a goal kick.

When the ball is played out of the line at the sides of the pitch, a throw in is awarded.

Here, a Chelsea idiot is preparing for a throw-in. They suck at those.

When a player is fouled, a free-kick is usually just given. When a foul is particularly harsh or blatantly illegal (like a body check or a hand ball) a yellow card is given and the poor sucker's name goes in the ref's book. Just like the idiot below.

When a player makes a challenge (or a tackle) that is deemed dangerous or possibly career-threatening to the recipient, or for fighting, or for committing a yellow-card offense twice, a player gets a red card. It's also called a sending off. This has 2 consequences. The immediate one is that the player is kicked off the field (sometimes literally) and banned a few matches. The other is he's guaranteed to make it into the ESPN highlights show.

That's all for now I suppose. *smiles*


Tuesday, 22 May 2007

Jazz Festival 2007

First up, I know I'm about a week and a half late posting this. *grins* I have just uploaded the pictures. Here we go then.

Miri International Jazz Festival. One heck of an event to put my beloved Miri on the map! Aside from the international groups from all over the world coming to perform and entertain, there was also a local jazz group, which I'll get on with later. It was an awesome event, lasting 2 nights (from 11th to 12th May) at Park City Everly Hotel's Beach Pavilion. There were over 4000 music lovers (or pretending to be music lovers) there and it was seriously a night to remember.

Night 1

The night featured 4 bands, David Gomes Jazz Sextet, KCP4, Lluis Coloma, and The Dirty Dozen Brass Band. I knew only the third group, the Catalans from Spain, as I saw them in last year's Jazz Festival and they rocked the house.

The David Gomes Jazz Sextet were Malaysian musicians (based in KL) with a Filipina vocalist. She was good. Their drummer was a big hit with the girls. He was pretty good and apparently a looker too. I have no comment on that. The bass player was pretty cool, and so were the saxophone players. I got to know the bass player after the show and he was real friendly. Vincent Ong, and he even told me to give him a call when I'm in KL so he could show me around gigs. Nice fellow. *smiles*

KCP4 was an Indian/German group, and frankly, I didn't really listen to their music. I kind of thought they were a let down, but fortunately, they were the only let down of the night.

Lluis Coloma from Spain is actually the band's pianist. He's like the God of Piano, believe me. He's that good. Their bass player and drummer were awesome too. Their bass player was apparently a professional music dude in Spain, and Vincent Ong of DGJS told me he helped set up the double bass for all the other bass players. What a guy. However, the saxophone player of this group was having a rather large erection that was horrifyingly obvious. Okay, stop thinking about it and read on.

The last group, ah, the last group. The Dirty Dozen Brass Band of New Orleans. Now, wmost of us know that New Orleans is like the jazz capital. It's no surprise then that these guys became quick favorites with the crowd. They were awesome musicians playing awesome music insanely well. To say more would probably do them injustice so if you were there, you'll know what I'm talking about.

There was also this chic who went crazy on the stage.. *hmm* That's another story.

Night 2

The 2nd night was almost like the first. 4 bands once more. This time it was Orak Naa Naa, George WashingMachine Quartet, Habana Sax, and once again, The Dirty Dozen Brass Band.

Orak Naa Naa were 2 guys from Germany and Morocco. Jazz experts say they were good. Those experts were morons. Case rested.

George WashingMachine is actually the band's lead musician, on the violin (like the Lluis Coloma group) and he wasn't really playing jazz. He's a swing musician. If you don't know what swing music is, sad sad person you are. Swing equals cool, at least back in the Roaring 20s, and these guys were cool. Rest of the band were just alright.

Next up was the Habana Sax, a quintet group from Cuba. These guys were possibly the most popular amongst the ladies, because their percussion and sax player were typical Latino good looks. To their credit, they were awesome musicians, but you wouldn't expect anything less from them. For Pete's sake, they're Cubans.

Once again, The Dirty Dozen. One word: GREAT. They kept the crowd dancing, and everyone rocking to their cool jazz. Even obviously uptight people were getting into that hallowed place we musicians call groove. *smiles* Crowd went nuts when they ended, with screams of "We want more!" ringing around. They gave it to us. *grins* I had a talk with their trombone player after the show. He had the improbable name of Revert, and the even more improbable nickname of Peanut (as his grandma couldn't pronounce Revert). He celebrated his 35th birthday that night, and I must say, he's one friendly fellow. He lost everything because of Katrina, so he's staying in Mississippi now. I'll find them when I go there. =)

For the intervals, there was this group called Son2nos, and they comprised of a Venezuelan percussion player, 2 British brothers on the keyboards, and a Filipino guy on the electric guitar. They played salsa and Latin jazz, and the Brazilian babes at the hotel sure made my eyes water when they danced. *big grin* Brazilians. =) However, their guitarist was probably the most annoying musician I've ever seen. *grr* I hated his shades, his stupid pants, his stupid hat, and the stupid way he gyrated on the stage. Horrible.

All in all, Jazz Festival 2007 was a terrific experience, and there was no repeat of the incident which befell me last year and which I refuse to repeat here. Some memories are better left forgotten. Ahaha..

See you next year.

PS. Pics on next post.


Jazz Festival Pics

Jazz Festival Pictures

Lluis Coloma (with Lluis himself notably taking a break. Note empty piano).

David Gomes Jazz Sextet (He's on the piano).

The Dirty Dozen Brass Band. Revert's nearest to camera (with trombone + cap).

Habana Sax lead saxophone player.

Son2nos entertaining the crowd.

Son2nos guitarist. Most annoying performer.

Orak Naa Naa.

With the Lluis Coloma saxophone player (with the hard-on) *eww* He looks crazy.

With Kevin, sax player of The Dirty Dozen. Such a flirt with the girls.

With new friend Michelle.

Nadine, Evan, Rae, Irene, Me, Gen.

Me, Evan, Rae, Irene, Jaq, Nadine, Gen.

Hunny and I. =)


Friday, 18 May 2007

The Truth About Prepaid

This is why I've been a staunch DiGi user for the past 5 years, ever since I had my first phone back in 2002. DiGi clearly pwns all other networks.
It's a shame they're not given the same advantages that the other two telcos get. *sigh*

Check it out.


Tuesday, 15 May 2007

Annoying Things on Friendster

It's not only me. It's you too. Admit it, there are things on Friendster (assuming you use one) that annoy and bug the hell out of you. Here are my Top 10 pet peeves on Friendster.

1. Lala Pictures
You know darn well what I mean. These girls putting their cameras up above their heads and taking a pic. Result: Eyes like bugs, inflated cheeks, non-existent chins, dying-fish pouts, and my indefinite disgust.

2. Wimpy-Man Pictures
There's only one hard and fast rule if a guy is going to take pictures of himself shirtless: Thou shalt be shaped like a man. Nothing's more annoying than seeing stick-shaped guys flashing their scrawny frames on Friendster. *ergh*

3. 6482 Friends
There's no way on God's green Earth that you know all those people unless you're Paris Hilton. She doesn't know all the people in her MySpace you know; they watched the video.

4. About Nothing Me
The "About Me" box is there for a reason. Describe yourself, man! *grr*
I recently saw a profile where the "About Me" section has 3 words. "Dunno what write.". If you don't bloody know, don't bother! It's not cool, stupid.

5. Add Me Up
Why? So you could have the possibility of having an online paedophile stalking your friends list? Come on, know the person. Having 1000 friends on Friendster doesn't make you popular; it makes you desperate. Plus you don't have a real life.

6. Age: 86
Dude. Seriously.

7. X-Rated Shoutout
Maturity obviously never met these people. Especially those cursing religious/political/social icons. Oh well, some people were dropped as babies. Too bad the skull was hard.

8. Affili-what?
Affiliation = Religious/political/social organisation that one is involved in or a member of. Do not put your favorite cheesecake or your pet bird's name here. It shows 3 things. You know not what you write. You care not what you write. You are a numbskull.

Look here. That message was obviously not originally sent by Mr. Smith bla bla bla. If you do not forward the message, your love life will be fine! No bad luck for 15 years! I don't forward those stupid things, and look, the "love of my life" hasn't left me by midnight. Once again, human stupidity at its finest. Get a life.

10. Psychedelic Profiles
White background + Lime-green letters + Weird fonts does not equal to cool and trendy. You're obviously a sadistic, friendless person who does not want anyone to read anything legible in their profiles. Have I mentioned it's hell to the eyes too?

Okay, before you flame me, I know I'm annoying with the *bump* thingy, so yeah, suck it up. No one's perfect right? *grins*


Monday, 14 May 2007

Mother's Day Special

Sunday, May 13th, was Mother's Day. What is Mother's Day? A day for mums to rest? To kick back? To relax? To hang loose and chill? Or is it to remember our mothers, and everything they've done for us? To honour them especially on this day? It might as well be all of the above. I celebrate Mother's Day for a simple reason.

From 2002, all my mum and I had was each other. Not to sound soppy, but yeah, it's pretty tough. Because of that though, we're pretty close. I guess that's why made this year's pretty special. 5 years, just her and I. She's a tough cookie. A beautiful one too.
For Mother's Day, I was glad she rested (she's a workaholic). I also got her a pink carnation. *smiles*


Happy Mother's Day mum.


Thursday, 10 May 2007

Alternative Names

Your Leprechaun Name Is:

Moneybags Luckleaf

Nice. Money in bags.

Your 1950s Name is:

Dwight Leonard

Sounds gay.

Your Androgynous Name Is:

Kane Leigh

Kane? *cough*

Your 1920's Name is:

Santiago Wylie

Sounds like a porn star. *ergh*

Your Irish Name Is...

Baethan Roche

No comment.

Your Hillbilly Name Is...

Slick Clementine

So gay. *ergh*

Your Porn Star Name Is...

Private Dick

Oh. My. Gosh.

Your Scandinavian Name is:

Jensen Arvid

Finally, a cool one.

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Star Ninja
Your Superpower is Super Speed
Your Weakness is Confined spaces
Your Weapon is Your Terra Crowbar
Your Mode of Transportation is Chariot


Your Uncommon Name Is:

Palmer Buster Lighty

Excuse me?

Your Preppy Name Is...

Brinsley Quinney Keating the Sixth
But most people know you as Scooter

Run me over.

Jason Buenaventura Cruz's Aliases

Your movie star name: Peanut Butter Tefanario

Your fashion designer name is Jason Milan

Your socialite name is Jay Jay New York

Your fly girl / guy name is J Cru

Your detective name is Eagle Saint Columba

Your barfly name is Crackers Beer

Your soap opera name is Buenaventura Acacia

Your rock star name is Mentos Light

Your Star Wars name is Jaswee Crujac

Your punk rock band name is The Happy Phone

Oh. My. Gosh. (to infinity).

Your Outrageous Name is:

Peter Eater

I like this one actually.

Exotic Dancer Name Is...


Almost true. *grins*

Your German Name is:

Engelbert Moritz

I wanted something with about 20 consonants.

Your Hawaiian Name is:

Bane Kahoku


Your French Name is:

S├ębastien Auger

The French. They think of everything.

Your Hippie Dude Name Is:


As in the falcon?

And this is what we do when we have too much time between classes.


Tuesday, 8 May 2007

300's Insane Workout

I've been really into working out since June, 2006 since I (finally) realized that I'm, well, on the wrong side of the BMI scale. I've been consistently doing my weights routine + basketball (since last October) for cardio, and I've been getting really great results. *smiles* However, when I saw the movie 300, and the insanely buff guys in it, I felt pretty small. Then I found out what they did.

25 Pull Ups.
50 Deadlifts (135 lbs).
50 Jumps on 24-inch box.
50 Floor Wipers.
50 Push Ups.
50 Clean and Presses with 88 lbs kettleball.
25 Pull Ups.

They do it as a superset, which means no rest in between, for a total of 3 circuits daily. I almost fainted. I can do about 6-7 pull ups on a good day. Maybe lucky to get 30 squats at 90 lbs, and 15-16 hanging leg raises. The only thing I could complete was the push ups (personal best: 60). No wonder those guys had massive shoulders, cobblestone abs, and tree-like legs! Plus stuff like gymnast ring training and tyre flipping. Not car tyres, TRUCK tyres. *faints*

I clearly had to do another one, and I came up with my "100". Don't laugh, I know it's a lot easier.

20 Shoulder Presses
20 Squats (50 lbs)
10 Romanian Deadlifts (20 lbs)
10 Split Squats (50 lbs)
20 Push Ups
10 Side Bridges (each side)
10 Bicep Curls (each side)

I've been doing this for a week now. I do a total of 3 circuits, doing the 100 reps as a superset, resting 90 seconds between circuits. It's a really good workout in my opinion, and I'm proud to have designed it. I substitute some to do my "100 Human Torch" superset that seriously torches fat.

10 Bent-Over Piston Row (each side)
10 Side Scaption (each side)
20 Squats (50 lbs)
20 Upright Rows
20 Push Up Position Row (each side, the hardest of all)
10 Side Bridges (each side)
10 Push Ups

Superset, 3 circuits, 1 minute rest between each circuit. *grins* Looks easy? Go try it! I do this twice a week, two days' rest in between each session.

So there you have it. Try the 300 Workout if you dare! Ahaha..
Plus my own supersets.



Ah so as I've posted a while ago, we are the English Premier League Champions!

Our new young squad has gone through so much pressure, adversities, and sometimes really disappointing defeats, but the Red Devils prevail This season, for the first time in 4 years, we finally get back what is rightfully ours, the Premiership Trophy.

Eventhough our defense for the last two months has been horrendously ripped apart (lost captain and RB Gary Neville, CBs Rio Ferdinand, Nemanja Vidic, and Mikael Sivestre, LB Patrice Evra, and the more often than not injured LB Gabi Heinze), we persevered over the money machine that is Chelsea. We did not have many strikers, especially with Saha injured. We had to rely on the back-from-injury Alan Smith and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, the "Baby Faced Assassin". Roo had to play mostly as an attacking midfielder, yet, he still got in his lot of goals. Amazing team. *smiles*

How it was won? Simple. Here's the last three games for each club.

Manchester United vs
Manchester City
West Ham United

Chelsea vs
Manchester United
Bolton Wanderers

United was leading by 5 points. Theoretically, Chelsea can still beat United to the title provided United gained fewer points than Chelsea.

First game: Manchester United vs Manchester City
It was a tale of two penalties, and Ronaldo scored his, while Vassell of Man City saw his shot saved by our Dutch keeper, van der Sar. United now leads Chelsea by 8 points.

Second game: Chelsea vs Arsenal
Arsenal scores first, followed by an equaliser later on from Chelsea. 1-1 draw, meaning both clubs get 1 point out of the game. It means United are ahead by 7 points. United wins title.

Mathematically it's impossible. 2 games left, for a total of 6 points. United leads by 7. It doesn't even matter if we lose the next two games! *grins*
EPL Season 2006/2007 is ours. 20 players have scored for United. 83 goals scored. Conceded only 26. Most goals scored in extra time. One player (Ronaldo) has 23 goals so far in all competitions. With amazing stats like that, it's no wonder that Manchester United are the champions.

Glory Glory Man United!


Blogthings Says That I Am...

You Are 85% Creative

You are an incredibly creative person. For you, there are no bounds or limits to your creativity.
Your next creation could be something very great... Or at least very cool!

Nice. *smiles*

You Are a Dare Devil

For you, life is one big dare.
And you're all in for any adventure.
Others find you exciting, inspiring, and a bit intimidating.
You're biggest challenge at this point is trying to top yourself!


You Are 32% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.


You Are Straight

There's not much queer about you.
So let's just say you're straight... but not narrow.

I'd be scared if otherwise.

You Are 74% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

It's not true. Lies! I tell you! Lies!!