When You Go "Crap!"

I'm a guy. (You're thinking, yeah that's a little obvious, Jason) So, okay, being a guy, I've tried to find ways to "fix" stuff when they're broke (or just not quite right). Here are some of my fixes when things are not exactly all sunshine and flowers. Don't you dare "duh" me. :P

Oh-Crap Moment
You’re all dressed up for a party/club/date when it hits you: you don’t look buff. All those hours working out, and it does not look like your arms are any bigger. In fact, your eyes must be playing a trick on you, because you look flabby.

My Fix
Drop down. Get on the floor and do 10-20 push-ups. The surge of blood to your arms will make you look slightly more buff. It won’t give you 13 inch biceps, but it’s good enough.
Plus, its unlikely to make you break out in sweat so your crisp white shirt should be fine, and no sweat-drops on your brow either. Effects won’t last long though.



Oh-Crap Moment
Phone’s dying. You (absolutely) need it. At the same time, your crush’s texting you.

My Fix
Go basic. Silent-mode everything. No music, no ring tone, no message alerts, no alarm clock, and for Pete’s sake, you don’t need that fake shutter sound of your camera. Switch off vibrate while you’re at it. Clear your wallpaper and screensavers. If possible, switch to a theme which has the least colors (or plain white or black), and then disable wallpaper. Set brightness at the lowest visible setting as possible. This can actually make your battery recharge a bit. Batteries are pessimistic things; they show lower values than real ones. This fix should give you about 15-30 minutes more batt life; an hour if you don’t talk.



Oh-Crap Moment
In a fit of macho-ness during a barbecue, you accidentally slice off a piece (maybe not a piece, but still, it's a slice) of your finger. A real CSI moment occurs, with you spraying blood, your dudes laughing at you, and the chicks grossed out (yet strangely, they look on in wonder).

My Fix
Glue it. I know its gross, but I cut halfway through my left thumb while trying to show how a slab of bloody cow should be cut, and I figured that since superglue dries transparent, the doc should be able to see through the glue. It worked! I still have my thumb (and the cool scar that comes with it, free of charge) so there you go. It stops bleeding too, unfortunately, so you can’t really show off a bloody and somewhat not-so-mangled hand.

Jay~